i feel like myself again

idk what to tell you but i do feel that night changed me a little bit...

becoming a grown and sexy sales representative for t-mobile has shifted me to the better...

i have become a new person with that experience in tact...the overwhelming negativity that presented itself from the experience...is done.

the only way for me to deplete myself from everything....everything was to take the time to move on and move forward...

you know what you are capable of...getting a C- from a tough teacher without reading the book...
a slight accomplishment...

thinking that i was crazy was useless because it was a pain in the ass...i move forward with new positions and a new identity...

i hope that i get kept from t-mobile...and make a play to make sure that i get kept...

i hope to move forward with a new life and a new experience...be a modern person...

i had some great times, and i move forward...with a new life, a new experience, and awesome good time fun...

i plan to go to the gym and use my proactiv....and stop eating like a crazy fat ass beast...

water! water! water!

start cooking at home...and bring snacks to work...make it happen sexxxxy.....you got this in the bag....do it the fuck up.

vitamins!

once u lose all that damn fat...go and get the damn protein shakes...and make yourself look grown and sexxy...

have you ever had a hater?

have you ever had a hater? have you ever met someone that put themselves into a position as your personal authority figure in order to provide you with some insight that you did not need?

i have.

i have been given an experience that opened my eyes to the realm of male on male jealousy. did you ever believe that this would exist?

i am a self proclaimed dork, but as you get to know me you will realize that i am one of the coolest fun people you will ever meet...allegedgly.

i am who i am and live through that regard i do not acknowledge...nor do i feel the need to entertain people's emotions...

you begin to correlate the position of others and realize that this person dos not require any form of in depth thinking...i belive that it is unfortunate for people to allow their emotions to sway their judgements and maneuver their actions....

it is called a backfire...

sting...to locking...to uncovered hypnosis....to a battle of who was better?

i won. and i would win again.

stronger in almost every regard...

i guess it was his night...and i guess i ruined it.

it was unfortunate for him to do all evil...

but the jealousy needs to stop...

limited capacity....all free space...no need to download...information could be stored...

was the human mind being compared to a computer? or a second hand cell phone?

without some form of spiritial explanation...we are left as the easily depicted common american computer phased dumb ass university of specimen...

wastes of sperm.

i guess that was true...and in turn i got what i deserved...

experiment. social.

psychological. union.

cultural. shock.

please don't be the ad campaign for a new energy drink?

philosophically. insufficient.

physiologically. correct.

no stain. no healing. no future. no soul.

not going to happen in new york city.

i now know why most of my friends have left the city...philadelphia is obviously where its at.

this is my home...but it is time to leave....

i took to the experience...

if i could get to you i would write your words...

if i could understand you i would interpret your ideas...

if i could relate to you i would illustrate your vision...

it is a simple understanding really...

you have to relive an experience to burn out the previous one?

i took to the experience open-ended...

allowing the civil remainder provide the moment of illustration...

the representatives took to it wisely but did not proceed the correlation...

therefore you begin to wonder...are men just human?

although i felt that he was being superceeded by his jealous intentions...

he provided a gateway into intellectual perception...

there was an end.

could it be?

?

"hypnosis on subconscious reality is the gateway to a concious dream."

-anthony.

dont touch me...

just dont pay. :)

your mother fucking idol....

don't annoy me.

it gets on my nerves.......

i dont think....






<3

who's amazing?

what if you were the greatest person that society would deem you to be?

what is you were the biggest douche in the world?

could you enforce your policies on the recipricate reader?

would you objectify objectivity?

get her done....

i need to go back to me....

get my swag back and do the damn thing...

no negativity...

negativity brings nothing...

you can do it anthony....

step up your game...

stress as usual

it's fucking snowing like it is going out of style...i can not deal with it anymore...it just will not end...i do not understand this fucking weather anymore...it is horrible...i hate the fucking snow, you can't do anything at all...you just have to trudge through it...it sucks....i hate the snow so much...

fuck the snow...ahhhhhhhhhhhh

i am stressed out at my job like hardcore...i need to step it up HARD with my activations and make something happen or i am slowly going down.....i need the kick in my step

get a shape up and get my earrings back....i need to go back to being me.....

NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

you can do it...with every step you get this much stronger...

more days of stresss.

empty space...

everybody always tells you to focuus on what is necessary and what needs to be done...

i just want to be needed....

not necessary...

everyday...you should never feel sorry for yourself...


look toward the main goal and establish yourself...

become the best health teacher you can and become the best that you can...

nothing made sense by the end of the situation....nnothing couuld be done...everybody attempted to discover certain things about me...but it nnever was a situation...that could lead to anything...

all the time it never ends

getting over an experience that took place so long ago....has been so difficult

i am feeling better and getting better with time...

COMEDIAN!!!!!!

definitely

i would like to take the time to mention that i have finally decided my goal in life and i am completely behind it...

i refuse to allow other's judgement dictate my path...

i want to be a health teacher and travel the world, fall in love, and have my own children and maintain a great life...

friends, family, and a well stamped passport...

make it happen...

my life has been saved....

again and again i begin to find myself from the dread....

it took so much to get me back to normal....

i think that i am finally in a place...

where everything would happen....

to take it to the next level....

what is that level? BEING YOUR MOTHER FUCKING SELF

step up to the plate and get what you need to get done...DONE.

get permanent.

clear skin.

lose the weight you gained...

get fit.

get a fucking tattoo

get into york college with the right major...

clear ALL DEBT.

stay with t-mobile for as long as you can and do the damn thing....

so what are the decisions that you need to make to become stronger and better?

i'm a sexy guy....

financially free...

making good money....

fit....

eating healthy....

studying...

and finalizing my future.

it's a good time to be....but you have to get kept...

remember that! it takes time for people to train and get to know everything and they are starting the first month of march...it is going to be hard for them to compete and everything....

i think you will be alright...step up to the plate and SHOW everyone that you are one of the best in the store...and will not allow anyone to take your spot...or it's mother fucking go time.

BITCHES!

fucking pissed

so fucking pissed off at these people...that i wanted to shut them the fuck up....

i held it down, fucked them up hardcore....

on many levels, unfortunately i think i handed them a subconcious blow once again....once i met them i was not over the situation and hate them...

regardless of who won or who didn't...i think i held it down enough to kno that i gained a lot that night and that experience was terrible...

i won at least 12 times....

my effect on him reigns supreme as i move forward in my life...toward a new goal that will bring me the qualities that i desire and deserve....

fuck the buffy cast of death....they were jerks and losers and lame asses...that i hope and wish will die...

he ruined everything....everything was ruined because of him and i hope that he feels good doing what he's doing....

d.u.i. bitch...fucking suck on it....

fuck you

you are a worthless lame ass piece of junk that will eventually fall over into a death of pain and skyrocket to fuckfacedness....

again

up and down up and down up and down

again i find myself lost...everyday i find a new way not to focus on what is next...

fortunately enough for me i have limited my choices toward my career choice...

and they are as follows:

Journalist.

i'm nosey i think it would be fun to do radio and enjoy life but after a while it wouldn't be that much fuun...

Health Teacher.

i think it would be fun to be a teacher, it is a respectable career that is in demand, and there are so many fucking perks...

T-mobile Manager.

good money and you do enjoy selling and doing the damn thing...

................................................................................................................................................................

okay being a pretentious useless vegan bitch....is something that i would never be...

falling into retail is something that i never wanted to do or allow to happpen so idk if i can allow that either...therefore i know i would love to be a teacher i think that it is a brilliant career...however idk what the hell to teach, sometimes people suggest to me that i should be a professor...but i dont think that this something i would want to do either...that would be sort of crap.

the italian thing sounds fun, but again is that really in demand....and i was always good at math but it would take me a really long time to learn math all over again....but it does make you a smart mother fucker.!!!! in the meantime you could bartend until you finished school that would be fun...and you could do a lot after the fact....

i am now over the italian teacher idea...that took 5 minutes....

i have decided that i do want summers off....i think the math teacher idea sounds really good, i do not know why i....

math math math math math....i always loved math i should have probably taken calculus at some point....but if i can get there by the time i am 27 that is something to be proud of....

okay that would take too long...what other options do i have? bio i was never good at, and you might as well do something in the medical field....

physics? be one of those insane hot people that can build robots...because everyone would admit it that that is hot...

no that iis not a good fucking idea...

i think that it might actually be an amazing idea...4 hour lectures??? hmmm? can i handle that?

finally, a good day...

i finally felt like myself again, i have always had an awareness for my surroundings but combined with focus....it has created a movementt...

my job is awesome, i look forward to moving up the ladder in order to make amove to a greater place where i need to be...

it was so awesome seeing friends again that i have not seen in forever...

it is few and far between that i find myself in situations that are fun

reminniscennt of thhe times from high school...

these kids are nuts...

got to have fun and do the best that you can and make it happen...say whaaaaat....

making it happen....

so everything happens for a reason i guess...well it comes to a point where it is time to decide what is the most acceptable use of your brain....should you evaulate your judgement? or take the circumstances into play in order for you to best assert yourself and create a lifestyle that provides you with the qualities needed...

why did i put myself through so much torture...why when you are capable of being a rockstar...well idk about all that but something more than you ever knew...you will come to a place where everything makes sense and you will know exactly what you need to do in order to make the best judgement...

make the right moves and put yourself into a position where you know what you need and want to do, it is time to decide what you want to be because you need to take yourself to the next level...

sick lullabies...

but it's just the price i paid...destiny is calling me.....

how can you equate an experience...to something you would deem highly qualified to hold so much potential....

was it just a limited experience? i do believe so....i think at the end of the experience, he utilized all his efforts in order to showcase his jealousy....and block me from realizing my full potential...the difference between them and i, was that i was a visual. nobody else was as visual as i was....deal with it.

if a person asked me if they were not that smart....i would tell them ....not to focus on what others believed you to be...but to focus on what you know you are. do not allow others proximity of judgement to calculate your gauge.

gauge can be your spectrum...and only you know your range...

calculate your speed not your distance....

do not let people get to you, allow yourself to be free of all negativity...

pride. can be your downfall...

envy. can lead you to misfortune...
..............on the otherhand...do not allow others to pass judgement on you either...they are jealous!

sloth. always stay steady...do not faulter in any fascet of your life...

...to be continued....

date night

i wished my coworkers understood me, it would be nice considering i get the idea that they pretty much hate my ass...

lol i know that they dont hate me but i do understand that they are fucking annoying as hell...they dont understand me and dont appreciate me and my contribution to the store...but they understand when i call their asses out! lol

it's not fair for me to do everything and i will not do everything and i will not tolerate not being allowed to take a lunch break when i work more than six hours....granted i dont want to miss the activations but what can you do...really...what can you do?

idk what these kids do...but they get on my last nerve and i do believe that they can go kill themselves hardcore and really quickly...

everyone gets to a certain point where you can not take it anymore...i hope that this saturday i bring it hard and get these damn activations and become number one in my store! i want to be mr. february! i know that i can do this i just have to hold on strong and bring it hard...you can do this anthony, stay motivated...how lovely would it be to hold down the number one spot and make it happen....

you got to remember where you work and what you can do....you have what it takes and that is all that matters....

you have to get at least 30 more activations this month...to bring it home and make it happen get that shit done! you have it remember that!

webConnects or @ homes, or postpaid family plans of course....hahhaah bring it home ant! you got this....do not hesitate to make things happen and go back to being a shark...

you know you got this, you already know!

6 days in a row have brought you 5, 7, 3, 9, 4, 5 which equals to 33 activations....

plus the original 21...to top it off on february 18th you are at 54 activations!

you are on pace to beat the mofo! DO IT!

addicted...

i am addicted to this blog, another day of work, and another day of nothing that excitin...

putting yourself on the back burner in order to make money is the key to everyone paying the bills...

i am okay with that, but i hate being in this awkward period that is an in between....between being a kid and being an adult....it is like two completely different entities...

moving forward....i am so over a bunch of things, and you definitely got your revenge...things should have just moved on...

stop the white castle...

so my life has become oddly routine, it is so much better than the way it was, not as much of a free spirit as i once was...and i think i miss that quality but no longer being a dumbass that i once was...

i get up, i work, i come home, eat something that i shouldn't, and now rest on my laptop for hours in between watching some tv show,

it actually is not that bad and i do not have that much to worry about...

what i realized was that a part of me was hurting, the part of me that held my vision...

it is a situation that will not distract me from life but distract me from prospering...

but it hasn't....if anything you have to be proud of yourself for everything that i have accomplished in the mean time....i am 3 months away from completing my associates degree...

i am a month away from being a confirmed permanent employee with t-mobile...a job that i never thought that i could land...

i just got a laptop...that i bought all on my own, i earned that...i did that....this sad part of me needs to die...and i think that is what i tried to kill....

look no further than your crave...

i believe in spirtiual guidance...

and nobody will ever own my jokes bitches!!!!

i am fucking---amazing.

on to the next, gotta find my futur ex...

and i'm leaving....

put so much energy on the next and the future, and what i was doing was wasting my energy not focusing on what was engaging me at the time, whether it was good or bad...

everytime the time came to pull the trigger, i backed away and was left withno time to heal but pushed forward to a new moment in order to not step back into previous paths...

the labyrinth that engages you is the pattern to indulge you as you move forward with no regards to previous book keeping...

always allow yourself to be in possession of the truth and always allow yourself to create
the ability to create is lost on lost souls, but that does not lead into a form of personal destruction

it is important to have a balance, but it is important to have a voice, lead yourself to be chosen, dont elect yourself a leader....

do not be a supporting character.

allow yourself the ability to be on the main stage and greet yourself to a whole new meaning of certainty...

what is behind you is behind you...and you begin to acknowledge what these secrets you held within yourself actually mean to others...

i have finally discovered the route to all of this, i was not afraid of anything other then falling into the same trap that my predecessors have fled to...therefore through acknowledgement it has become clear that everyone has a voice...

you were a kid, you are definitely not at that age anymore, but it was with the sincerest quality that you will continue to lead and be the best that you can be, get over this gray period, work your ass off....get the tangibles that you deserve! and make moves...move forward and enjoy

but you have to get your act together!

1. schedule dentist and doctors appointment immediately before insurance runs out!
a. sign up for t-mobile insurance in april.
b. get all cavities filled and take care of everything
c. schedule appt. with dermatologist and make sure you are healthy.

2. Proactiv
a. set up routine facials...
b. clear the mother fucking skin biotch i said right now...

3. Debts
a. pay off shakespeare A.S.A.P.
b. pay off TD bank
c. pay off library
d. evaluate if you owe any other money elsewhere but probably not

4. Room
a. save up money to buy:
mirror, yoga mat, mural, espionage kit, sheets, towels, curtains,

5. Wardrobe
a. no new clothes until you lose weight...
b. SOCKS. TANKTOPS. BOXERS. $100...I ALLOW IT.

6. LAUNDRY!!!
must go through all clothes and decide if i am keeping anything or not, must decide...major must do before final semester starts!

7. vacation time immediately...
MUST PLAN VACATION SOON.

8. GYM?
a. sign up to powerhouse...do it, maybe as a graduation present!
b. remember to CANCEL planet fitness...

9. luxuries
a. new ipod...say what.
b. blackberry? oooh maybe as a graduation/birthday present.

10. apply for readmission to HUNTER asap.

11. get kept at t-mobile!!!

2000, 1500,

find my voice...

i choose to blog as an outlet as a surrender to my thoughts that have possessed the stregnth any normal man could take...

i have met many men big enough to lead an army but were not complex enough to handle the route,

i have met many men smart enough to create the strategy but not tough enough to execute the purpose...

i have met many men capable but could not enforce their judgement over their wit...

many men can create their own personal meaning of existence but you begin to questions if they are supporting their own enterprise...

how can one man rule a society that possesses a good amount of all these people?

the normal people that parade around that begin to chastize others for their form of expression...

these thoughts are so arbitrary to understand and meaningless to entertain, why do people possess the qualities that everyone automatically denies they have...

as you get older you believe that you will automatically become more complex, but as i have learned throughout my years that you grow to become more limited,

much more set in your ways and co-dependant on pre-exising qualities in which you value....

why does everyone decide that you should become increasingly stronger when you should just grow wiser...you should not be in an adverse point of potential...

increasing your wits is the key to success...do not become involved in backpeddling...it is fucking stupid...

do i want to freestyle? ....more like beat reporting...
do i want to be a comedian? ...hell fuck yea...
do i want to be a jerk?

no values will lead to justification over this and i will never allow a misguided notion to engage my thoughts in order to support another stance...

i carry previous weight on my shoulders and proceed to shed the stregnth that has come with...

uunttil the time has come where people stop valuing groups over individual stregnth...
nobody will be heard....

valentines day special

so it doesn't take much to recollect on old thoughts and have them transcend upon almost everything...but it does take a lot to get the courage to get up again when you know that you have been shamed...

everyone in this world has a lost a few...

and what i have learned throughout this time is that you need to learn that you win some you lose some...

i know i won...

i left those people wanting more and could not obtain it...

i by far won!





moving forward to the other issue...i won in my own way and i did feel guilty about everything that took place that night but at the end of it all...drama free is the way to be and thank you i won.

there is nothing left to be said, there is no way to obtain accurate infomration and even apply logical sober ethics to a drunken environment and experience...

do not belive for a second that you are above the actions of others but do believe that you are better than your own.




i have a pretty good life going on right now...it seems that i have moved from 9th to 5th which is crazy....i am the new go to person of it all...i am top rep., i am not superior to others, but what i have concentrated on is learning to forgive the moments and have learned to forgive yourself...

you changed people that night, but at the end of it all....i am not full of myself but i like to have fun and be me and do the damn thing, i will not engage in other people to obtain satisfaction and will not remove myself from strangers, just be yourself it got you far enough and you enjoyed the personalities of those.

i, anthony vow to move forward and with dignity and self-preservation. and have witnessed that being yourself is the only way to successfully move forward and on your own....you became something through all these experiences and that was stronger, and that does mean that you should find the party...because those people that are so few, are out there and you are still one of them...and you will always be...



that was released, that was forgiven, and changes were made...


you have not faultered anywhere else outside of your social/romantic life....

AND IT IS MOTHER FUCKING TIME TO HANG OUT WITH THE GAYS!!!!!!!!!!

they will make you feel at home, because you are what you are...and the heterosexuals just are not cutting it!

live freely and live strong, choose wisely be productive and always listen to your heart.

i love me.

Middle of February...a bunch of life

So it has been a while...do i still think about these terrible situations...unforunately i do...

i dont know why i belive in these situations that have plagued me for so much time and i do not understand why i allow myself to be treated in the ways that i do...

i have absolutely perservered and created a personal conquest in the midst of handling everything else that i can only look at myself in a high regard...

you created a life for yourself that has transcended over everything you possess...

thank you to all my chinese fans...

i do not know why i put myself into situations that require reactions that are negative and dull, boring and stupid...

who are these people? who do these people think they are? these people are losers aside from a few people that actually entertained the thought of greater goods and greater life...

am i in a position to judge others and decide what the right decisions are...absolutely not but this leads me to believe that these people are limited...

the main cause of the destruction was the autistic alcoholic idiot moronic child that has no self-control and entertained its values by some midsguided thought process that did not even make any sense...i have to come to terms that althought the guy was a fun person that was a good person that just happened to be some version of a power dork was actually autistic and an idiot...he had lost all self control and it was unfortunate that he could not be convinced or changed...

he was a fool, he is a fool, he felt that he had something to prove, that he was the toughest person in the game that we lived in, he was not that tough, he cried over everything that was lame, he exerted an energy to bring me down in order to prove himself a man over the rest and everyone was disgusted by his behavior....i have to understand that this guy was an autistic and he could not possess things that other people could...

he was a loser that was not capable of anything past step by step consideration and it was shameful that he truly thought that he held some status...only some dork boy with pretend robot legs would justify his tiny penis actions in order to possess someone for self satisfaction...only someone withouth the capability to understand reality would enforce its self righteous personality upon the individuals who were capable of more...

a guarantee that he would not care but his capacity was stronger than his will...but his will became stronger than his capacity...he would never personally engage in the thoughts of a child past the age of twelve and entertaing the values of a teen...this person was truly and quite simply an idiot....a savage pack of deffocation. and an usual backing that did not support his core values...leading me to believe that he is a certified austistic member of society that should not be capable to engage in alcohol within bars. this man should be disenfranchised of his root and create no fascist statement with his undoubtable creationist ways.