wtf 7 brown

fuck her dude. fuck all of them dude. what the fuck is the point anymore? i mean it's not that serious but at the same time its so fucking annoying....i'm so oooover it. fuck them i just have to worry about myself and that is a mistake that i have made over and over again in the past. i need to focus on myself and thats it. step one: must get flight attendant job. step two: save money. step three: move out by 25th year of life. step four: evaluate if school is even worth it, or find management opportunity in some field or company that will offer me the ability to work and live and manage a home.

serious jealousy

jealousy seems to have been plaguing my existence since the moment i awoke a long time ago.

every fight i have ever bee involved in has been because of some family being jealous over people or something of the case...

i am so over dealing with the emotional reprocussions of dealing with what i have dealt with as a child.

i feel a duty to teach the future leaders of america and not deal with the negative mentalities that have allegedly been a part of the future...

that guy at the bar was jealous.

they were jealous of me in that place.


i can't deal with all of the jealousy. i'm a fucking guy. i shouldn't have to be dealing with all of this fucking catty jealousy.

be jealous of me bitch.

unemployed and loving it.

so i decided to leave behind the wireless industry that has diluded me for the past year. what a waste of time. selling cell phones is an important part of our cultural time. many people are upgrading their devices in order to subscribe to the internet. however, what does it all mean?

are phones the future? probably not. it seems as if that tablets are now becoming the new cultural art form in order to display social consciousness. tablets are in part a duty of your time to showcase situational prowess.

do you need to google someone? do you need to know your favorite artist's new song? do you need to showcase your potential thru social netoworking and alternative media outlets?

Verizon the trailblazer of the cellular community has made a vast impact on the cultural blaze that transcends onto the American cultural scene. Cdma technology in its effort has created a global effort within the United States and looks to expand on its efforts in order to comprise the market. ...your answer? the Iphone.

Your answer? An antiquated technology on a limited network. What do we have to look forward to? It doesn't seem as much. Most people find reliability amonst other networks including the heavily favored AT&T. One thing Verizon lacks to be put simply is...cool factor. AT&T is the leading powerhouse amonst individuals aged between 21-34. The majority of the smartphone network. In addition, most of these people choose the heavily socially favored Android technology.

The 4G LTE network has not been challenged enough in order to justify its sentiment. Data clockage is expected and will soon diminish the impact of the second rounders. The exclusivity agreemtn will end, howeve Verizon will not be the only carrier which will house the iphone. This impact will remain less then expected and the trend of switchers will continue. Verizon still remains your leading network in order to accomodate your business needs. Verizon network will supply you with the tools in order to assist your business both socially and creatively.

Sprint and T-Mobile need not apply.

you move ahead 1, you fall back 7

i do not wish any harm on all of the mother fuckers that have done me dirty within my life. i can fucking name all of them....of how many have given a shit and turned around to say that they were sorry...

i do not know anymore, i really don't. i dont forgive ever...i hold grudges and i fucking hate those around me...

who cares about online bullshit anymore?

i hate you jay or whatever your name is. i do not fucking understand you nor do i need anything from you. you do not like i there...get the fuck out and go fucking die or whatever you want to do. nobody fucking cares. nobody fucking cares anymore about you...

life isn't what it turned out to be, even in all of life's stresses i still found a time to feel comfortable...and feel fine and feel welcomed by life...and feel as if i could possibly do something that created the potential to be great at something...

wtf! happened!! WHAT?!!?!?! at this point, i am almost passionless....i have ran away from living a life and having fun and into a stream of consciousness that does not deviate away from responsibility and this delusioned idea of being a cool kid.

isn't a cool kid someone who maintains a lifestyle and a life....is being a teacher your passion? idk but it has always come up within my field and life. always.

i think it's about time that you get it together and do the damn thing...you get to a certain point and you figure out that it might be important for you...

this blog isn't genuine. i dont even know what happened today...things just blow up and go out of control....i am so tired of it...i am this close to just moving out, i can't deal with it anymore...i am soooooooooooo serious. and sooooooooooooooooooo over it.

it's time to move on. it's time to move on. it's time to move on.

i am so dissapointed on the pics. i have gotten fat. i need to lose this weight and go back to eating well and at home...i can't deal with that anymore...my room will get finished and school will officially begin.

at that time i will become stronger again.

not the vacation i was expecting

well it's my first vacation in about 10 years. i paid for my tickets and decided to visit my sister in st. petersberg florida. i can admit i have had a decent time filled with some great highs and definitely some mediocre points.

the surprise of seeing my sister was wonderful, i greatly appreciated the effort it took on everyone's part to have this vision come into a reality. it was awesome. she threw the umbrella it was pretty hilarious.

as we pushed forward into the night we went to the mall and had a relaxing time as we started to bond. at the end of the day i like gil. he's not a bad guy. but i must admit he's not my favorite boyfriend. my sister has been with some high quality men, and this one doesn't qualify for a cell phone. it is what it is.

when i first saw their apartment i thought i was in the waiting area for hell. it was grusome and i expected tyrannical squirells to claw my face. but that didn't happen so that's good. i immidately proposed we go look for an apartment.

we found the reserve and within the renting office was a fabulously unfabolous gay man named damn. he pronounced "Lease" ....LEEHHISE. it was funy. had to be there. oh so gay. soo soo gay.

well after mini episode after mini episode of slight retardation...they finally realized that they can doooo it. and they have a beautiful apartment with a lake view and literally walking distance to that pooool. i am feeling that. that is some hot shit. awesome apartment.

well aside from not really doing much. i got to see the dali museum which was awesome. i loooooved almost every second of seeing that museum so worth it to me. and the docent tour it was fantastic. it reminded me of how much i appreciate art. and miss going to the museum and taking advantage of the exciting opportunites there are in nyc.

i really appreciated everything that they did for me and tried to do for me, it was fantastic. i then went to the beach with my sister and we spoke about everything else and it was fun for me.

unfortunately my gut feeling is that this man is not the one for her and will not be. i am very against it. however, it is what it is. aint nobody getting married until i can get married. throw that politics in the mix.

the beach was amazing i had a great time. i saw some awesome things. i went out dancing for a little bit...my friend's car got stolen which i felt like was my fault. and now after a short time with the poool.....we FOUND HER CAR!!! AND I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY!!

definitely some ups and some downs. but we made it. we did it. and now i'm here and the night is turning into later. but it's ok.

i'm going to miss my sister...i <3 her.

i do. i hate when we bring up the conversations that drift us. but when we get along...we're fluid.
that's my bitch.

so what does it all mean?

you travel through life and attempt to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. however, you are childishly unhappy. childishly because you won't admit to it. you will not own up to the fact that changes need to be made.

these changes include:
forcing yourself to go to the gym.
eating waaaaaaay less fatning foods.
cleaning up your room.
doing your laundry.
maintaing your skin.
going to the doctor.
drinking only only only water.

these changes need to be made before you start school, maybe you can request a week off or something? maybe that's in the cards for you.

you really don't have any idea.

but you could try.

right now my job consists of people that i do not want to get to know any further. although they attribute characteristics that i would normally find desireable, i must face facts...i am not a manhattan person. i do not like the city nor do i want to work in the city any longer. it was fun while it lasted.

but queens is home. and queens is where i dwell and where i am successful i understand queens. i get it. the city is a forced way of socializing that i have never been about. it's time to make the moves in order to do the right things and take advantage of what i need to take advantage of.

a 450 store in the old store's market might be poetic justice for what i was put through with that location, they made me feel like a failure. like i had done something to them and deserved to feel that way. at the end of the day you are the only one with a degree. not them.

they can go kill themselves as we slowly watch that location dissapate. i do not know if i wish them any ill...but they deserve to feel a temporary burden in the same manner that they made me feel. it isn't fair.

in terms of my location now, it's not worth it to me. 181? REALLY!. this is what i have come to.
the ghettoness....i can't live with it anymore.

i need to go into a location where i can capitalize and create the best for myself and create good numbers and work the minimum and captialize on the benefits. this is the only way i am going to be successful.

finally my art will become an activity as opposed to a desire. innovation can come into fruition if i choose to. 18 months of writing courses sounds like a blessing during this time and i hope to make the best out of it.

in the next few weeks i have a lot of things to take care of in order to become successful again. if it means buying the tools necessary in order to maintain a healthy and happy living space then so be it.

i deserve it.

you have been through too much in your personal life to have become this way again. you are not like this...only a few time have you been like this. and it is time for you to become yourself again.

working in an area where you chill...that makes sense.

going to school for writing....fucking finally.

THESE ARE THE MOVES NECESSARY!

NOW DO IT!

new day.

i have this never ending suspicion that for some reason i am going to get the boot from my job, idk why i assume this because in all actuality i have no reason to be scared...



if it was meant to happen it would have happened by now...



fortunately for you...you have no quams or worries with anybody....



with your two keys, you did give off a slight atitude however you were going thru something serious and you did not know what else to do and you felt aggravated at the time. maturity needs to kick in here.



like you have previously mentioned, if you knew anything prior you would have known.



there is so much going on elsewhere in terms of new recruitment that you should feel fine that you will be successful in what you do.



in regards to everything else, you called 3 stores and asked to see if they were hiring. one store you actually gave your name but it seemed to have been in a cool way not a way in which it was negative...therefore everything should be alright.



you called the manager there and both managers seemed to be okay about it...so it should be fine.



she said "cool" which probably means that it is cool. so you really don't have anything to worry about.



if you do mention it, you simply state. well i was wondering what was going on and i wanted to see what my options could be because of the general discomfort with a specific person. i think you are completely within your limits. however, you might want to downplay this before it gets back to your mm and then you have negative feedback and a negative portrayal.



keeping in mind, you seem to be doing satisfactory work and being successful therefore reach out for the next step and take advantage of what you can...does this imply you might hold keys? do you really want that added responsibility thrown onto your plate in a time of school?



keeping in mind i will be going to school full time once again come the end of august...not fun nor exciting however that is the nature of the beast....this is what you have to do in order to be successful in the long run.



i refuse to have a job that is solely dependent upon the likes of people's needs and or wants. if i choose to work with people it is going to be based on what they require me in order to do. i do not play that shit.....getting my master's as i get paid a decent salary is the smartest move for me. two years to finish my master's as i am gaining the experience needed to hold down the position. it would only take 3 more years aftewards in order to make $70,000. I will be approximately 29 making this salary, not too bad considering i will also be experienced and well traveled.



my goal in life is to see the whole entire world. not just one continent twice. i want to see the whole world. every summer i will travel to a different nation in order to fully embrace their culture, and identiy. with this travel i plan to bring back good food, good wine, and a brand new insight. only a well traveled mind can truly illustrate their thoughts. what will the rest bring me? who is to say? but i will not be broke.