hmm. idk if i know...

idk what would make me happier. i feel like i am content. i have grown to be content. i feel strong and i feel that my lack of emotion persuades me to induce a positive shell. although, i do not know if i am strong enough to be okay...i know that i am capable and i have a lot of alterior methods of coping, which do not involve drugs. but i insist on some form of addictive side reality that i engage with in order to pass the time. what does that mean?

i know what i am capable of, and i know that i need to be stronger and not be the jerk asshole that i have been for some time...what should i do with my life? the real question consistently involves your own inner happiness and how that can be translated into a positive work ethic that provides you with a virture.

the virtue of work. never put down hard work at any cost. but in my time now, i have found a job that involves making money for minimal physical effort. although i do not have the physical arena addressed consistently, i do possess the effort...hardly. it is hard to get up and go to work and then go to the gym, and avoid all of the devious temptations that this world has to offer.

what i need to do and focus on is remaining successful, and i have to focus on what is the proper channels in order to maintain a steady focus and create success for myself...and whatever i choose to do that with...

i have definitely finished my transition in many ways, and surpassed what i thought what i would be. my sweet nature still generates a positive outlook that is admired, and attractive.

what i need to do now is focus on inner strength and combining a focus in order to make a positive move in my life. what that is...well i do not know. i figure that i want to be successful with some form of acting and creativity. because i am creative enough to make new ideas relevant and create possibilites that are translatable.

but i hate science. i do not know.

my relevance needs to be served, and i need to create an environment where to execute this. some from of dexter...dexter's are always smart for some reason. i do not know why.